Interested in
helping the bereaved?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Reaching Out

to Help the Bereaved"


You Can Reach Out...

When someone you care about experiences the loss of a loved one, you can reach out and help ease the pain. You can greatly help them just by listening because they need to tell their story to someone who will listen. Most of the time, they just want to be heard.

Grievers don't want someone's simple answers or advice. What they need is understanding and acceptance. Indeed, if the bereaved are not listened to or heard, not understood, and not accepted, they may feel like they have a contagious disease or even died along with their loved one.

Please make sure you listen, try to understand, and accept their state of mind. Be patient. Include them. Love them.

You may be saying something like this ... "But, I feel so uncomfortable when I try to visit with the newly bereaved. Besides, I can't help them anyway."

The truth is that we are all uncomfortable, especially the newly bereaved. In fact, they need a lot of help. Here are a few things that you can do to reach out to them.

Be available. You can visit in person, by phone, and/or by mail. Include the griever in your life. This is the time that he needs your friendship most. Invite him to join you. Then respect whatever decision he makes.

Listen well. Grievers need to talk about the person who died. Let them. Realize that when their loved one died - the memory of him did not cease to exist; it never will. Their loved one will always be a part of their lives.

Show your love. A touch on the shoulder, a warm hand shake or hug says much more than your words. Understand that there really isn't anything you can say that will ease the griever's pain. Yet, your loving touch assures them that you still care about them.

The best thing to say is "I'm sorry for your loss." If you knew the person who died, share a memory or a heartfelt compliment about him.

Refrain from expressions like: "God needed him for another purpose;" "God never gives people situations which they can't handle;" "Only the good die young;" and "You are so strong." Such statements are not helpful. Remember, there are no simple answers. Leave your good fortune stories and other tragic stories home.

Let the bereaved cry. You can even cry with them.

Respect the spirituality of the bereaved. If you are a spiritual person, you could offer to pray with them.

You can provide effective emotional support. For instance, attend a memorial function that commemorates their loved one, or accompany them to their loved one's gravesite.

Be especially considerateof the griever's needs on holidays as they are extremely difficult times. Support the griever on the birthdays and anniversaries of his loved one.

Be patient. Grief has no time frame.

Be kind. The ever-changing nature of grief is specific to each individual.

Know that a loved one's death changes the griever's life forever.


Lovingly Written by
Jane K. Andrews - in loving memory of Peter John Kulkkula,
Bonny Caisse - in loving memory of Jared James Caisse,
Anne M. Dionne - in loving memory of Michael S. Dionne,
Deborah L. Kulkkula -in loving memory of Peter John Kulkkula,
Jane Maki - in loving memory of Christopher L. Maki.
Lovingly Designed and Compiled by
Deborah L. Kulkkula - in loving memory of Peter John Kulkkula.
Lovingly Created Artwork in the hard copy by
Kelly A. Dionne - in loving memory of Michael S. Dionne

You are welcome to attend grief conferences. Most of them have seminars for people who want to help the bereaved. You can find out more about these conferences by looking up
"Helping the Bereaved" on the Internet,
or writing to Peter and Deb Kulkkula, 381 Billings Road, Fitchburg, MA 01420, Help@BereavementAwareness.com or calling us at 978-343-4009.

If you're interested in a book about how four mothers morned the loss of their children, Help@BereavementAwareness.com us and we will send you more information about the book.

For more information about Bereaved Parents Awareness Month and help for bereaved parents, go to Bereaved Parents Awareness Month.

"Thank you for reaching out to the bereaved!"

Need more help?
If you are a bereaved person or
someone wanting to help a bereaved person,
we can help.
For more information,
contact Peter or Deb at 1-978-343-4009,
Help@BereavementAwareness.com.
You can also write to us at Peter and Deb Kulkkula,
381 Billings Road, Fitchburg, MA 01420-1407
.
If we can't help you, we'll connect you with someone who can.

Bereavement Spokesperson Deb Kulkkula
Bereaved Parent
, Inspirational Writer and Speaker and
Bereavement Spokesperson Peter Kulkkula
Bereaved Parent, Bereaved Sibling, American Adventurer

Although we have no bereavement degrees, we have lost two children,
my husband lost his brother, and my sister, mother, and neice lost their husbands.
We worked with and led our local chapter o
The Compassionate Friends (for bereaved parents and their families)
for many years after the organization helped us.

I edited newsletters, wrote articles,
and was the education chair of the 2005 Annual TCF Conference.
We are very grateful to The Compassionate Friends.

At the same time, Deb lead a group of writers.
They first wrote a brochure entitled

"Reaching Out
to Help the Bereaved"
Lovingly Written by
Jane K. Andrews - in loving memory of Peter John Kulkkula,
Bonny Caisse - in loving memory of Jared James Caisse,
Anne M. Dionne - in loving memory of Michael S. Dionne,
Deborah L. Kulkkula -in loving memory of Peter John Kulkkula,
Jane Maki - in loving memory of Christopher L. Maki.
Lovingly Designed and Compiled by
Deborah L. Kulkkula - in loving memory of Peter John Kulkkula.
Lovingly Created Artwork in the hard copy by
Kelly A. Dionne - in loving memory of Michael S. Dionne
We appreciate your loving attention to this brochure.

Then,
co-wrote a book entitled
Every Step of the Way: How four mothers coped with child loss
with Yvonne Lancaster, Anne Dionne, Jane Maki.
Thank you: Yvonne, Anne, and Jane.

We are both dedicated to helping the bereaved.
Since 2008, we have been sponsoring bereavement months
to show the general public how to reach out and help the bereaved,
support the newly bereaved,
and to connect the newly bereaved with a helpful organization.

Site designed by Deb Kulkkula
Donated by Rising Star Speakers and Peter and Deb Kulkkula
In loving memory of Peter John Kulkkula, Quy Dan Ha Vo
,
David Lydon, Harold F. LeBouf, Elma & Ansu Kulkkula
©2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2913 Rising Star Publishing
For more information,contact
Deb Kulkkula, M Ed, M B A, Hon Ph D
381 Billings Road, Fitchburg, MA 01420-1407.
Help@BereavementAwareness.com
or at 1-978-343-4009.